Couples Need to Stop Cutting Wedding Cake, No One Cares

Weddings are about your guests.

A lot of married couples do not even remember the details of their nuptials since it all can feel like a blur when you are the ones actually getting married. The guests, however, want to eat good food, drink good alcohol, and dance to good music.

Which is why it's so frustrating when the DJ stops playing "Hips Don't Lie" to halt the proceedings and have you focus your attention on some dimly lit corner of the venue so you can watch your friends awkwardly cut a cake.

Who are we kidding, cake is simply not an upper crust dessert. It's mid at best.

There's way too much variability with flavors, textures, and fillings. And cakes are the ultimate deceivers — something looks vanilla and then it's a terrible coconut meringue, or a chocolate frosting exterior is actually a raspberry-filled interior no one asked for.

Get creative! Ice cream? Chocolate-covered Oreos? Churros? Do it! Those are fantastic, crowd-pleasing hit desserts — and guess what? No one stops the bridge of "Telephone" to pass these out and you can snack on a churro while re-creating the Monster Ball's original choreography.

So next time you're getting married, consider passing on the cake cutting and swapping in a fun, portable dessert. Spare us the awkward spectacle and reward our taste buds for shelling out money to schlep to your venue.

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